Hallelujah and...

Bringing it all back to the point of where everything this concerns began -
Starting once more to pick things back up, to care again - not that I ever haven't in the first place...
That notion and the one putting it daftly, stating, "I don't want this anymore."
It's just the reality of the situation to recognise the ways in which it's all been done before.

Settling down, becoming the inquisitive fellow I am;
Wondering why in hell the world has turned out the way it has.
`Twill be the case, as it was from the start, with recorder in hand that I'll begin telling stories in a more efficient and fashionable, timely manner -
Looking upward towards the man who's brought the most life forth from my bones in years past.

Hey!!! Who made this lens out to be the boss?
Who the fuck do you even state your claim out to be with anyway, mate?
Do you even realise what this means now that you've told me what you've told me?
Maybe that we're both weak and we'll collapse into each others' arms when we fall, eh?
A conflict was never intended, but who's to say a title was?

Let's make amends for an argument never begun, dear...
It was held in `til the tide and the sky laid it to rest!
Heroes come, heroes go, but for us they still remain.
As I smack the Dog I hope to one day become before I head out, traversing along the Way:

Hallelujah and an assortment of selected songs -
That's where I'm at in the journey we call life.
It was never a question of what, why or how;
Just an endless feat, one day to the next:
Going forth with the ghost of a tear that dangles down either one of my cheeks as the doves flock to her...

Beat That!

Why in hell are you still trying to prove yourself to me?
That's the question that's on everybody's mind.
It comes in through their nose, makes the spiraling upward journey, topples over sliding, coming down and out through their toes...
America's fallen and you don't give a damn!!

China's wrath is on the rise now
China and Russia, but China beat them to the punch
I read that in a poem once, now with my own additives, sedatives galore
She went there once; she's been; why haven't I?

Yeah, you don't impress me with that bullshit, you can't scare me; I'm manic, indestructible plastic
At my hands the world crumbles, on my neck they suck the blood
Humility is a contradictory thing and half of it is all of something else
When the fear overtakes, enabling thoughts that confuse, ignorance that misleads and guides us down a path

What in hell am I trying to prove?
This was me; it's been me all along...
So much so that the person back at the beginning isn't familiar and the man standing here today is unrecognizant.
Devaluation is a tool we use, but even that shimmers arrogance.

Addiction feeds the soul, but the soul of a man is what targets a desirous affliction
Treading roads once or twice or even three times trodden tends to bring it back
Each time this is where it's tended, just as long as factors deciding lie in the shades
And yet, even as i say these things, my heart belongs there and the sun will probably wither them being brought from the shade, but I don't know that for a fact; this is a face never sought after before

Maps excite my nerves and this is what I say to that...
Never - don't you ever - take me there again with nothing but an image to ponder at
They're supposed to be things to follow, but they only lead me aback
But saying this only says, "Hey! Look at me!" and do you or don't you think I want that?

Who in hell do we prove it to?
The better word? Why, when the other one meant just the same?
Things that leave us sad today and references to another time...
Our people always want to go back, holding the current circumstance; the two will never be aligned

The meaning of all of this is What!
Yes, that is what it means, but then what is it?
Do they hate us for what we do in India as our minds expand?
Here I am, the local braggart, but I've not been to Thailand...

There's something wrong, dreadful and strong; something's not right
Always, with the longing to be elsewhere, to tread more delicate ground
Rough around the edges; her skin's not been touched and it's not what I thought it'd be to be touched
These jagged assumptions; they cut me and I bleed to life, not even sure what that means
Experiments and weird times for me now; relying on sight, inquiring to the sound.

Skeletons

Truth is actually a dangerous thing if you think about it; think about it. It gnaws at your skin, eating away at your pores, going down layer by layer until all that’s left for it to do is to engulf your muscles and exude them out onto the ground. When it gets that far and to that point in its journey, causing the regurgitation it’s needed to cause, all that’s left for it to pursue are the bones and the marrow behind those bones, leading to complete and utter bareness, where the truth can find rest and a strong lack of necessity for it to cause them to crumble. Oh, it could – it has the strength to do that, but it won’t because you see, truth is too big a thing to be crowded by the desires of the flesh and the muscles that corrode and decay and stretch such a thing as that sort of fabric, so it needs to clear a way, to provide for itself a path, in which it has the strength to invade. That, and the bones and their inner structure, the marrow, provide truth with a fortress, a sort of housing if you will, a shelter that will guard it from the war – the bombs, the explosions, the destruction – that you’ll find going on outside a skeleton’s gates. And some people won’t like you when you expose the truth if your truth involves embarrassing bits and pieces of their own truths, but I found that out – oh, did I ever find that out – and that’s, in my opinion, the only way a truth can be revealed in its entirety. For the truth to be told that person needs to provide the listener or listeners with a substantial amount of background according to the current circumstance he or she finds him or herself in so the person or persons listening can have an accurate way of processing the whats and whys behind any given perspective and to understand the reasoning behind why things are the way they are right now in the present. Hey, I’ve got nothing to hide… They might, but that’s honestly not my problem; it’s theirs. So, don’t ask anybody anything without being completely open to their blunt honesty from actual experience, refusing even to make the slightest bit of change in perspective on your part because then the question is a lie, just words for you to throw into the air, because that hurts… So think about it, you bastards.

A Reflection on a Time of Life Come to Pass

I know there’s something there. Yeah, there’s something there, but I can’t get to it now and I don’t know why that is. Maybe it’s got more to do with the fact that time has ripped the two of us apart than I even want to believe or give credit for. She’s in the fuckin’ navy and I’m fuckin’ anti-anything-to-do-with-the-government, no matter how minimal or even maximal the involvement. Staying naïve about such things is really all I strive for and that’s my choice, so I’m allowed. But that night we had at the bar some time ago was so real to me – to both of us I’m certain – that I was certain I’d found it and I went to her some time later, not being able to see her while I was there, and I’m going back, that being the place I need to be, uncertain of whether I’ll be able to see her even then, which causes me to question the whole of reality at its very core. Life is so easy for me and this, when it’s supposed to be completely opposite from what it is, and, from my prerogative, it’s hard for about everyone else around and they all just come to the point of accepting that as the thing about it when our roles should absolutely be reversed and I’m starting to feel like it really causes an offense between them and me. Even with all that being said, though, I’m still not convinced you understand the entirety of what I’m feebly attempting to tell you because, if you want to know the truth, there have been countless times, it feels like, where I’ve come to the brink of retreating on what I believe in, only to be saved, in a sense, to be pushed back into believing that my set of beliefs was right to begin with by a totally faithless grouping of circumstances that came to pass. Due to the places where my mind’s taken me, though, romance can no longer be what it was meant to be in the first place for me because the way I feel for her, I can never feel for anybody else, and I can never feel more for anybody else than I do for her either, but, at the same time, there can never be anything between us and the trouble with miscommunication is that I’m left now pondering if that’s what she’s afraid of.

Daniella Descends

All these fuckin' people and I don't need a thing
Daniella creeping subtly back to my mind's nothing I can escape
Haven't thought of her for a long time, but she was never really gone
Why would I want that anyway; her memory assures me I'm alive

We're on different ends of the spectrum now as far as I can tell
Even when I knew her, she was happy and I was fooled
She was me 'cause I was her, retreating back, going forth, unsure
Now I see, though, and I need this allowance of contencity

Well, it's true; we've been here before, but now we're back again
I went off, stylistically searching, with no way to return home
And I think I'll probably stay, just waiting for whatever gets thrown my way
Though this isn't exactly fair, it's all I have to give; now I'm left wondering, wsndering, loitering...

"Where did you go, my baby dear?"
That's a direct quote, but I'm talking to you, asking her not to stay there too long
Because I'll miss Hell out of her, I will, and I need her in my life
Asking her to descend down here because I've tried it out; I can't go up there

This inner-turmoil, outer-stress, has always been freeing once cast aside
But I just want it too be over with, so I hope she'll never realize my secret or figure out where I am
We belong in Hell together, so I never wanted to miss it out of her
A place of dismantled loneliness, a place of tears, but, at least, we'd have one another if that were the case

The Poisonous Confusion

You know, I can't offer you anything you don't already have
And don't do that because people will break your heart
I have to be honest here because it's all I know how to do
Don't do anything for anybody unless you do it for yourself first

Moving along trains of thought
Going down the tracks, cross-country, at the same time
It was a phenomena begun in a more centralized location in America
Went back home, a bit further east, but it ended up about as far west as I could go

And luckily, she was where I needed to be in the first place
Otherwise it would've ended in disaster because I only go where my heart takes me
But I'm usually known to sicken myself, wondering about the possibilities
Misfortunes for one are somehow others' fortune, and changes, but it always works the other wsy around as well

Because we've been here before, but somehow I've decided I don't want to anymore
This may just be the result of years of poisoning and confusing myself, though
Just, I was violently thrown into a mess I didn't belong in and sometimes I choose not to be there
I just want somebody to be with, but it scares me to think how to tell you

Something simple is all I'm after these days
Damaged by reactions, I don't know what to do now
He doesn't mesh with your expectations, but I don't want to backbite; I don't know what I want: to let her go, or no?
What I'm trying to tell you, though, is no one ever really can

About to take a huge leap and a possible plunge into the sea
I really just want to hear her voice, for her to hear mine, despite the fact she's married
You know, though, that's never really mattered to me
Ever since I saw her again; it's what I've always wanted, but a crucial factor it may not be...
Because now it's her, him, and their prince on the way, three

And I honestly don't know if I ought to know better than to refrain
I swear to God she's told me before, but my lack of belief causes so much pain
My faith in humanity outweighs everything, not knowing what I'll gain
She's about to be a mother, though, so how much will things change?
Wondering, "Am I headed for eternal sunshine or detraining to torrential rain?"

And, if it came down, I'd put him before myseelf; there's no question there
If you want anything more from me, I'm sorry; I have nothing else
There's not a doubt in my mind as to how much I care
Not really sure yet what's to come, but I know I'll be well
Oh, and I've been there before; I'll go back to Hell

Because, I think, if I let fear take control, it'll elude me of life
I didn't used to think this way or be so afraid, but now I don't really have that choice
Now I've got to consider what I'll do to relieve this strife
Questions burning in my head, "Is this crackling just useless noise
Or what else could it be? Are we sharpening knives?"

And now I'm here... Wait... I've been here before
In and out, in and out, with nothing but myself to abhor
The old Way has been what's become my Babylonian whore
But this newness now has led me to what they think forlorn
Where the bays and the tidal waves are all that's left in store

Because I don't care what you say... Little boys make me alive
They make me cry and I don't know what that means for me, what it meant for Mike
And I've got one up the coast from where I'm going, but, for him, I'd be there in a heartbeat
But now I've got to take this chance
When she's finally recovered from all she'll go through, I think we'll dance