California

There's a hint of timidity seeping through my veins now
Seeking for help wherever I can find it
It's in my voice, in my walk, amongst other things
Love's what's lacking now and I don't know where else to find it

Hunger's the thing plaguing me at the moment
Taking another hit at survival with ground-growths as my only friend
I'm scared without really a reason to be so
Life takes its turns no matter where, but I only long to be there

She's the only reason i stayed where I am, enduring another biting winter
Another feat performed for another girl with clear intentions made unclear by myself and the blame can only be mine
It was admitted in the form of defeat and the inevitable followed
But now, the fate Cain defied is my own

I love him - I know it now; I knew it then, but the kid's not here
He's beautiful and my eyes light up whenever i see him; his brother's coming soon
And his mother's beautiful; she's perfect and in love
With the best man I know; memories of a time once lost came rushing back after Ilet it slip that I didn't recall

But I'm stuck here now for a little longer
With the ebbing awkwardness as I watch these things fall around me
Shedding artifical tears that seem real at the time; I was obsessed with the past
I miss it; I need to talk about it, but I can't right now; I have to go...

And I can't sleep at night anymore
The thoughts that invade between waking and sleeping are annoying these days
Just lying there, waiting to fall asleep, is irritable at best
Heat and discomfort accompany me there beneath the covers

But I'll be there soon, boys; don't forget me
And we'll dance 'til the sunlight as we watch the sun rise over the beaches
Now there's only time for one more project
Riding recumbently through the night