Distracted

This is so stupid
How does this thing work?
I've been tinkering with this device for 20-some-odd years now
But the contraption at hand has a missing piece and it's damn near impossible, if not that, to find a suitable match for it anywhere

And I've attempted, on multiple occasions, for varying lengths of time, to find ways to work it on its own
But then, if I continue to believe in that sort of thing, I'm afraid I'm only pretending
I mean, it's even told me not to worry, that it'd be alright by itself
Yeah, I'm pretty effected and even crazy; I talk to machines like they have a soul

But they do; to me, I think they might; there's something hoiistic in the midst of all of this
Detaching myself from the ideas of any purpose to attach it to, to callous and make it not as pretty
Even sitting back, watching others of it's kind at work and considering my current state of unease
Not satisfied with much of what I see, uncertain I could put it together any better

And I'm, honestly, annoyed as hell at times
When parts seem to mesh so well for a time, but then, all of a sudden, they don't
The time it takes to craft something so well isn't a luxury we all have; finding other projects to get me out of, but to eventually throw me right back into, the state I'm in
But finding a reason for it doesn't seem appropriate as you lie there, wondering:

The less time you have, the more it takes
And the inverse is also true; why is that?