The Poisonous Confusion

You know, I can't offer you anything you don't already have
And don't do that because people will break your heart
I have to be honest here because it's all I know how to do
Don't do anything for anybody unless you do it for yourself first

Moving along trains of thought
Going down the tracks, cross-country, at the same time
It was a phenomena begun in a more centralized location in America
Went back home, a bit further east, but it ended up about as far west as I could go

And luckily, she was where I needed to be in the first place
Otherwise it would've ended in disaster because I only go where my heart takes me
But I'm usually known to sicken myself, wondering about the possibilities
Misfortunes for one are somehow others' fortune, and changes, but it always works the other wsy around as well

Because we've been here before, but somehow I've decided I don't want to anymore
This may just be the result of years of poisoning and confusing myself, though
Just, I was violently thrown into a mess I didn't belong in and sometimes I choose not to be there
I just want somebody to be with, but it scares me to think how to tell you

Something simple is all I'm after these days
Damaged by reactions, I don't know what to do now
He doesn't mesh with your expectations, but I don't want to backbite; I don't know what I want: to let her go, or no?
What I'm trying to tell you, though, is no one ever really can